


False Confidence

by icequeen57



Series: Home is Where You Make It [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Nick needs a Hug, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reggie Needs a Hug (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie gives hugs, Snogging, Violence, himbos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27413230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icequeen57/pseuds/icequeen57
Summary: Nick is still trying to fix his life after Caleb, and maybe be something else with Reggie.
Relationships: Nick & Carrie Wilson, Nick & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Nick/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: Home is Where You Make It [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002825
Comments: 4
Kudos: 97





	False Confidence

**Author's Note:**

> Nick has violent nightmares, like blood and violence. he also implies he might have killed himself.

Nick’s recovery was slow. He still didn't understand everything that had happened to him, and that scared him. On top of that he was jumpy and freaking out a lot more than usual. He always felt like someone was watching him. Then came the worst part. He was starting to remember. 

Before all this, before his breakdown, when Nick thought about his time in the fog, it was hazy. Like he just slept through it. Sometimes it was like Nick physically couldn't remember his time possessed. Now, he was starting to remember. 

He remembered yelling at Rayla, he remembered acting like a “Nice Guy” to Julie, and he remembered what he did to Carrie. God, Carrie. 

She noticed something was off with him, she knew him better than anyone else. She was his best friend. Having her hate him was like a shot to the heart. He deserved it, well  _ He  _ did, but  _ He  _ was Nick, so it was all confusing. The Ghost used what Nick knew about Carrie against her and it broke his heart.

He remembered her face when he told her it was her fault her mom left. When he told her there was something wrong with her for having a crush on Flynn. When he told her she would never matter to anyone, and she would never be as good as Julie. 

He hated himself for hurting her like that, even if it was the ghost, it was still Nick who said it. Reggie told Nick it wasn't his fault, but Nick couldn't accept that. Reggie also told him that he should talk to her, she would understand. Nick couldn't accept that either. 

So when Nick was on the roof talking to Reggie one day, and Carried walked in, he froze. Nick didn't know what to do, or what to say. He barely heard Reggie say “I’ll leave you two alone,” before Reggie patted his shoulder and popped away. 

“Carrie.”

“Julie explained everything. I know.” 

She knew and she was here. “I am so sor-” Carrie cut him off with a wave of her hand. She walked toward him, and he scrambled to stand. He didn’t know what she was gonna do. She stopped about a foot in front of him. She looked the way she always did to him, seemingly cold, but fire in her eyes. 

She stared at him, looking deep in his eyes. “I just said I knew, didn’t i? It was the dead guy, not you.” She raised her hand and he flinched. She stopped. Then continued. “None of this is your fault, Nicholas Sacha Carlson.” She emphasized her point by poking him in the chest probably more gently than she normally would have. He smiled. 

Nick could feel his eyes start to water, “Can I hug you? Yes or no?” 

Her eyes got glassy, “Yes bitch, come here.” She wrapped her arms around him and he held onto her tightly. He felt a little more human. 

* * *

After apologizing to Carrie, Nick was feeling a little more like himself. Even if they weren’t dating, she was still his best friend and he needed her support right now. It was nice. She was even making an effort to get along with Julie, though he knew Carrie was still trying to deal with her resentment for Julie. Carrie resented Julie a lot for a lot of things: having a mom, a dad that was there, a natural talent for music, Flynn. 

Nick was also spending more time with Reggie. He was the only one out of Julie’s group that didn't walk on eggshells around him. Reggie treated him like he was Nick, not the kid that got possessed by some megalomaniac with a weird obsession with teenage boys. Nick knew he wasn't the only one who saw it, having overheard Reggie telling the rest of them off for acting like Nick was gonna turn into Grimace at any given moment. Nick could barely hold in his laughter as he imagined the Ghost in the McDonalds costume. 

Having Reggie was good for Nick. Reggie was a good person to be around. He made Nick laugh, he listened to Nick, he grounded Nick when he was having panic attacks, which were thankfully becoming few and far between. Reggie was nice and caring, and a little bit of a himbo, and he was also very pret-. No, Nick needed to cut off that train of thought before something happened. Nick wasn't gonna have a crush on one of the only people he had in his life right now. He wasn’t gonna self sabotage like that. 

So yeah, Nick liked having Reggie around. As long as his thought remained strictly platonic, everything was fine. The thing is though, they were not always platonic. 

Reggie gave Nick a song he wrote, a country song to Nick's surprise. Nick didn't have anything against country music, he’d been known to belt out Shania Twain whenever he heard her, but he didn't expect that from Reggie. The boy continued to surprise Nick. Nick was not only surprised that the song was country, but the fact that Reggie gave him a song. Reggie told him that if Nick needed him, Reggie would show up. It felt like a weird ouija board thing. The guys didn't know a lot about being ghosts, but Reggie, Alex, and Luke were connected to music, and singing a song of theirs from someone connected to them, could summon them. Nick tried not to use the song, Reggie didn't sign up for all of his problems. 

But there was one night when things got bad. 

Nick had just woken up from a nightmare, not unusual, but this nightmare was particularly bad. It was a mix of memories and his own fucked up imagination. He dreamed that Caleb was possessing him again, but Nick could see what was going on, but he couldn't do anything about it. He dreamt that his body was on the roof with Reggie again. It was his body that went up to Reggie, and punched him. Reggie went down to the ground and Nick’s body was beating the shit out of Reggie. Nick was screaming for Grimace to stop, to stop hurting his Reggie. Nick saw the blood pooling around them and Reggie wasn't reacting. Nick woke up with that image burned into his head. 

Nick couldn’t breath, his heart was racing, and he couldn't tell what was real. The dream felt so real, this felt real, Nick didn't know. Without really thinking about it, Nick started to sing. 

_ Home is where my horse is _

_ Riding through trees by the river  _

_ Feel the summer breeze smile gettin’ bigger _

_ Home is where my horse is  _

Nick’s voice was shaky and he didn't get the tune right, but it worked nonetheless. Reggie was in Nick’s bedroom, sitting on his bed, holding Nick’s face. Reggie looked so concerned, and worried, and a million other things that Nick couldn't decipher before he was buried himself in Reggie’s chest.

Reggie, to his credit, held Nick tightly. Reggie still wasn't sure how Nick was able to touch him, they weren't even always solid for Julie, but he wasn’t gonna argue. He hadn't seen Nick this upset since that day they told him about Caleb. Truth be told, Reggie was scared. He didn't know how to help Nick, and it broke his heart to see him upset. Nick was really special to Reggie and Reggie didn't know how to handle that feeling. He did the only thing he knew how, he held Nick. 

Neither of them knew how long it took Nick to stop sobbing into Reggie’s chest, but neither of them cared. They weren’t in a hurry to let go of each other. Nick pulled back, “Sorry.” Nick really couldn't say what he was apologizing for, calling Reggie, messing up Reggie’s flannel, or for the nightmare itself, which Nick logically knew wasn't his fault, but logic wasn't something he was focusing on right now. 

“Hey, Nicky,” Reggie moved his hands to cup Nick’s face, wiping away his tears. “None of that, okay? Don't apologize for needing m- help.” Nick could feel his eyes start to water again. He smiled. Reggie, to his credit, was horribly confused, but smiled back. 

Nick couldn't say how they ended up laying back on his bed, Nick’s head on Reggie’s chest, Reggie’s fingers in Nick's hair, but he wasn’t complaining. It was nice having Reggie there, not hurt, not bruised, warm to the touch. “I had a nightmare.”

The hand in his hair stopped for a fraction of a second, but started again, Reggie hummed. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Nick shut his eyes and reached up to grip onto Reggie’s flannel. He didn’t say anything for a while, neither did Reggie. Reggie wasn't gonna push Nick to talk, but he wanted to help. Truth be told, he didn't know what he was doing. At least when they were on the roof, before all this, Reggie could help him with school. Reggie was good at that, numbers and science made sense to him, but people. People were a lot more complicated than numbers. Nick especially. 

Reggie felt more than he heard Nick say something. “Hey mumbles, I can’t hear you.” Reggie all but whispered. 

The soft smile fell off Reggie's face when he heard Nick. “I hurt you.” Reggie was about to question Nick when he continued. “He used me to hurt you. I couldn't stop him and you weren't breathing and I just could only watch. There was so much blood and you weren't moving and…” Nick couldn't breathe. 

Reggie moved Nick so that he could look Nick in the eyes. “Hey, I'm right here. I'm Okay. I'm Here. There is no one that can keep me away. No one. Not Caleb, not anyone. As long as you want me here, I will be here. Okay?” Nick’s breathing was starting to calm down, but he was still worked up. 

Reggie went back to petting Nick’s head, the intimacy of the gesture was cooling the panic in Nick’s chest. Reggie always knew what to say. “I don't know what I would do without you.” Reggie opened his mouth like he was gonna disagree and Nick spoke up again. “No, I'm serious.” Nick sat up and so he was unintentionally towering over Reggie. “You are the reason I am sane right now. You are the reason I am the person I am. I don't think I could have survived seeing Grim- Caleb again if it hadn't been for you. I wouldn't be able to do it. I wouldn’t want to.” 

By this time, Reggie had leaned up, resting on his elbows. Reggie raised one hand to, well Reggie didn’t know. He just wanted the contact. The thought of losing Nick before Reggie even got the chance to meet him was distressing. He didn't know what to say, but he didn't have to say anything. The next thing Reggie knew, Nick was flopping down into Reggie’s arms, and much to Reggie's surprise, a pair of warm lips on his. 

Nick did not plan this. He was going for a hug, and well, missed. It was at this moment Nick understood how he felt. The warm feeling in his chest, the desire to make Reggie smile, the need to be near him. Nick was falling in love with Reggie. But in doing so, he ruined the only good thing in his life, well besides Carrie. 

Nick pulled back, apologies and excuses on the tip of his tongue, when he felt a hand on the back of his neck. Nick locked eyes with Reggie, then Reggie brought their faces closer together and kissed Nick. Nick melted. 

Reggie didn’t know a kiss was supposed to be this good. It was soft and warm. It felt like coming home. Reggie used the hand that wasn’t on Nick’s neck to grab Nick’s hand and threaded their fingers together. Nick was on top, but Reggie was very much in control of the kiss. It wasn't all heat and passion and lust, but it wasn't all timid and chaste either. It was some mix between the two of them, and it fit them perfectly. 

After a few moments, Reggie threaded his hand in Nick’s hair and tugged on it a little. Nick moaned, though it was mostly swallowed my Reggie. Nick pulled back, face flushing and panting. Nick refused to look Reggie in the eyes, but Reggie placed his fingers on Nick’s chin and tilted Nick’s head. He looked Nick in the eyes. “Nicky, baby, you have to remember to breathe.” Reggie smiled. 

Nick really wanted to kiss that smug smirk off Reggie’s face and surged back in. Their teeth clinked together, but they didn't care. Nick could feel Reggie smiling when he kissed him, and Nick liked that. Nick mimicked Reggie, sliding his hand into Reggie’s hair and pulling. Only this time, when Reggie gasped, Nick slipped his tongue into Reggie’s mouth. Reggie made this sound that was like a mix between a moan and a squeak. Nick laughed. 

Reggie didn't know when, but at some point, Nick went from being at Reggie’s side, from where they had been laying down, to being in Reggie’s lap. He did not know how to process anything else. All he knew was there was a very cute boy in his lap who was kissing him. Reggie could feel Nick’s tongue swipe across his lip, and he could feel the teeth on his lower lip. He could also feel the smirk on Nick’s lips when he made a noise. For some reason, that annoyed Reggie. Not enough to stop, but enough to do something about it. 

Before Nick knew what was going on, Reggie had flipped them over. Reggie was resting between Nick’s legs, Nick’s hand still in his hair. He looked really good like that. Nick went to kiss Reggie again, they had gotten disconnected at some point in the flip, but Reggie pulled away. Not all the way away, but enough that Nick titled his head. “Is this okay?” Nick wasn't sure what Reggie was asking about but nodded anyway. “Nick, I need a verbal answer. If you are only doing this because I want to, then this ends now. I’ll stay if you want me to, we can just lay here and cuddle, or I can go and we can pretend this never happened.” 

Nick made a noise like a kicked puppy. Forget about this, forget about kissing Reggie? Nick thought the very idea would kill him. Nick gripped onto Reggie’s flannel. “Don’t leave, please.” Nick took a breath. “I really like you here, and I really like you kissing me. I want you to stay, and I want you to keep kissing me, if you want to, but I just want to kiss you. After everything that’s been going on lately, I don't think I'm in the right mindset for going further right now.” Nick peered through his eyelashes at Reggie to see him smiling. 

“Anything you want baby.” Reggie leaned down and pressed a kiss to Nick’s forehead.

“Baby?” Nick smirked. 

Nick could see Reggie’s face get red. “Yeah, do you not like it?”

Nick took his hand that was hooked around the back of Reggie’s neck, and pulled Reggie in. Right before their lips touched, Nick whispered. “I love it.” 

They continued to kiss until Nick couldn’t physically stay awake. Reggie snickered when Nick yawned for the fifth time in as many minutes, and kissed Nick again. “Go to sleep, Nicky. I’ll still be here in the morning.” Nick fell asleep with a smile on his face, wrapped in Reggie’s arms. He really liked this feeling. 


End file.
